My sister, this journey I plan to speak about is not one of a privileged life, it is one forged through the open flames of insecurity, depression and self-doubt; one where rejection was once commonplace. It is one enveloped in the arms of broken dreams, broken relationships and a broken heart. It’s one where I constantly lived in a state of fear of homelessness, hunger and unspeakable pain so deep within my soul my hair fell out and I developed stress related psoriasis. It is a place where my blood pressure was so high the doctor wouldn’t let me leave and where the migraines were so bad, I temporarily lost vision.
It’s about the countless days and nights I found myself barreling over the toilet because of the uncontrollable tears and the thought of once again giving my all to the unworthy, undeserving and ungrateful. And my weight, oh no! Let’s not even begin to discuss my weight! Every woman knows that’s a struggle within itself. It’s the intimate places of me, a place where I’m about to expose the worst parts of myself, a truth so hidden, that only a few are privy. Oh, but my friend, this journey, is also about a place of contentment. A place where I, and you can too, stand wrapped in loving embrace and fellowship of a God who met me where I was, face to face. A place where my journey should have ended long ago but there was a plan so intricate, the God I serve said “No!”
So now that you have a hint that I may share my heart wrenching, soul baring, unspeakable pain, if you are willing, let’s embark upon this journey together as God works through me, to lead you to joy.
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